LAW #1 - No matter how bad your last show was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eveuntually, a lifetime.
LAW #2 - Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about he former.
LAW #3 - Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in a lab, it is a known fact tht the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.
LAW #4 - Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking the law and should be cut down.
LAW#5 - No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant "you looked up" or invoke the wrath of the universe.
LAW #6 - The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified she/he deems themselves as an instructor.
LAW #7 - Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater the desire.
LAW #8 - Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture know to man kind.
LAW #9 - Palm trees eat golf balls.
LAW #10 - Sand is alive. If it is not, how do you explain the way it works against you?
LAW#11 - Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.
LAW#12 - A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidently hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent - or some similar combination.
LAW#13 - All 3-woods are demon-possessed.
LAW#14 - Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into water (see Law #3).
LAW#15 - A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.
LAW#16 - "Nice lag" can usually be translated to "lousy putt". Similarly "tough break" can usually be translated "way to miss an easy one".
LAW #17 - The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.
LAW#18 - The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.
LAW#19 - Golf should be given up at least twice per month.
LAW#20 - All vows taken on the golf course shall only be valid until sunset.
Author Unknown.
Contributed by Jackie Mote
Monday 19 August 2013
Thursday 8 August 2013
August News!
I apologize for not keeping up with the blogs. I am unsure if anyone reads them!
First of all, I would like to congratulate all of the women golfers who participated in the Club Championships this past weekend. Congrats to the winners of the flight divisions and Congrats to the contenders! You had beautiful weather for the most part!
There are three more league nights for the women's section. I strongly urge you to come out and count for your team! The Women's Committee is working now on the Closing Event, which will be much like last year's event, but with Darren's help, hopefully without complaints and/or injuries to those coming up 18 fairway on to the green!
The Women's Committee is looking for new members to join! If you are interested in helping out with this committee, please see either Sandra Shank, Kim Moir, Barb Ivak, Jackie Mote, Cathy Thompson or myself, Diane Harris. We would like to see some sub-committees formed as well, which will help out for different events. That way, we would begin to build different groups of women, which will offer more ideas and changes to the women's section.
Change is always hard, but it ends up being the most refreshing thing that can be done. The one thing in my life that I could always count on was "change". It keeps you young and keeps you thinking!!
The women's committee will be meeting within the next two weeks to discuss the upcoming events, as well as the closing events. Although we are only in the early part of August, we must start to prepare for the fall!
Please think about joining the Women's Committee - whether it be on the actual committee or a sub-committee. We need your ideas and we need your energy!
Enjoy the rest of August!! - It seems to be going a bit fast for my liking!!
See you on the course!
Diane.
Monday 17 June 2013
A note from Gwen Pomeroy - Women's Invitational Chair
Hello
It’s time to mark Tuesday July 9th on your calendar and sign up for the 2013 Women’s Invitational Tournament. Please sign up soon to ensure your spot and to help us to plan accordingly. You may sign up in Pro-Shop, or simply contact gpomeroy@rogers.com and I’ll make sure your name is added to the list.
It’s always a terrific event, and we’re making it even better for 2013. Well worth taking the day off for.
This year we will have another fabulous menu awaiting the golfers. There are lots of prizes and gifts for all.
It’s only $65.00 for Craigowan fulltime members ( $95.00 for 12-packs or other non-members),
and that includes morning coffee and muffins; power cart; snacks and dinner; and gifts and prizes.
Plan to join us in hosting our 2013 Women’s Invitational Tournament and help show off our wonderful course and club to women golfers from all over Southern Ontario.
Of course contributions to the prize/gift table are needed and always appreciated.
We like to send every player home with something special. So please consider helping us out if you can.
Just drop off your gift at the Pro Shop with a note “for Women’s Invitational” and of course, your own name and organization,
so we can acknowledge your contribution on the programme.
It’s time to mark Tuesday July 9th on your calendar and sign up for the 2013 Women’s Invitational Tournament. Please sign up soon to ensure your spot and to help us to plan accordingly. You may sign up in Pro-Shop, or simply contact gpomeroy@rogers.com and I’ll make sure your name is added to the list.
It’s always a terrific event, and we’re making it even better for 2013. Well worth taking the day off for.
This year we will have another fabulous menu awaiting the golfers. There are lots of prizes and gifts for all.
It’s only $65.00 for Craigowan fulltime members ( $95.00 for 12-packs or other non-members),
and that includes morning coffee and muffins; power cart; snacks and dinner; and gifts and prizes.
Plan to join us in hosting our 2013 Women’s Invitational Tournament and help show off our wonderful course and club to women golfers from all over Southern Ontario.
Of course contributions to the prize/gift table are needed and always appreciated.
We like to send every player home with something special. So please consider helping us out if you can.
Just drop off your gift at the Pro Shop with a note “for Women’s Invitational” and of course, your own name and organization,
so we can acknowledge your contribution on the programme.
Tuesday 21 May 2013
Women's Invitational: Tuesday, July 9th
OXFORD GOLF AND COUNTRY CLUB
2013 WOMEN’S INVITATIONAL
TUESDAY, JULY 09, 2013 - 9:00 a.m. SHOTGUN
Registration, Coffee and Muffins: 7:30 - 8:45 a.m.
Guests: $95.00 MEMBERS : $65.00
Includes: Power Cart Golf
Range Balls Coffee and Muffins Dinner Prizes
*GAO HANDICAP FACTOR CARD IS REQUIRED *
Craigowan Members please sign up in Pro Shop
Guests please make cheque payable to Oxford Golf and Country Club
Mail entry form and cheque (no later than June 30, 2013) to:
595838 Hwy 59 N. RR 6 Woodstock, ON N4S 7W1
Attention: Women’s Invitational (Please note – no refunds after June 30th)
1o years generously sponsored
By the Woodstock Branch of
CIBC Wood Gundy is a division of CIBC World Markets Inc., a subsidiary of CIBC and a Member of the Canadian Investor Protection Fund and Investment Industry Regulatory Organization of Canada.
“ It’s worth taking the day off for ”
A funny from Jackie Mote
Jackie has asked me share with you a funny story...... so here it is!
During her physical examination, a doctor asked a middle-aged an older woman about her physical activity level. The woman said she spent 3 days a week, every week in the outdoors.
"Well, yesterday afternoon was typical; I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through 2 miles of brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I barely avoided stepping on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I went to the bathroom behind some big trees. I ran away from an irate mother bear and then ran away from one angry bull Elk. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank a scotch and three glasses of wine.
Amazed by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoor woman!"
"Well, yesterday afternoon was typical; I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through 2 miles of brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I barely avoided stepping on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I went to the bathroom behind some big trees. I ran away from an irate mother bear and then ran away from one angry bull Elk. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank a scotch and three glasses of wine.
Amazed by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoor woman!"
"No," the woman replied, "I'm just a really, really shitty golfer".
Friday 17 May 2013
Teams have been Selected for Women's League
Hi!
All the teams were randomly picked last Tuesday evening for the upcoming Women's League which begins on May 28th.
A reminder to any woman who has not yet signed up and wants to.....you still can! We have open spots on some of the teams so please do and have some fun.
There are currently 6 teams - team names are being thought of as we speak. I will be posting the names and members of the teams next week when we have all the information.
I signed up as Captain again this year. My team consists of Cathy Poole; Cheryl Irwin, Donna Stalker, Jean Shippey, Joanne Martin, Joanne Vleuten, Mame Gooding, Trish Wilkins and Yvette Voegelin. Now that sounds like a great team! I am sure that we will all have a great time on the golf course and also off the golf course! I look forward to playing with each member of the team this year, so watch out, I will be plugging my name on your time slot some day soon!
It is Friday, before the long May weekeknd! I hope everyone has a great one. May it be safe, and full of laughter and of course, sunshine!
Till next week!
Diane.
All the teams were randomly picked last Tuesday evening for the upcoming Women's League which begins on May 28th.
A reminder to any woman who has not yet signed up and wants to.....you still can! We have open spots on some of the teams so please do and have some fun.
There are currently 6 teams - team names are being thought of as we speak. I will be posting the names and members of the teams next week when we have all the information.
I signed up as Captain again this year. My team consists of Cathy Poole; Cheryl Irwin, Donna Stalker, Jean Shippey, Joanne Martin, Joanne Vleuten, Mame Gooding, Trish Wilkins and Yvette Voegelin. Now that sounds like a great team! I am sure that we will all have a great time on the golf course and also off the golf course! I look forward to playing with each member of the team this year, so watch out, I will be plugging my name on your time slot some day soon!
It is Friday, before the long May weekeknd! I hope everyone has a great one. May it be safe, and full of laughter and of course, sunshine!
Till next week!
Diane.
Thursday 9 May 2013
Great Weather for Golfing
Hi Everyone!
This past Tuesday was my first "real" round of the season. The weather was great, and of course the company was even better. It was great to see so many women out!
A quick reminder to sign up for League play and the Birdies/Eagles/Putts. The committee needs to put the teams together by a random pick on May 15th. So get your name in - we don't want to miss anyone.
I also signed up to play in the club's Opening Sunday Round on May 5th. Another great weather day. I had the pleasure of golfing with Nora Spence and Hannah Masters. One of the things I enjoy most when playing in tournaments is meeting new people. We had a great time and some challenging fun shots. I think our team ended up with an 85, far off the lead, but we came in first in the enjoyment category! As we were playing a scramble format, one of our shots landed (lodged) in the left bunker on 5. Our other two balls were back a ways, in the middle of the fairway We all looked at each other and decided on the spot to live on the "wild side" and take the challenging shot. Our Nora hit it out beautifully and the ball landed within a foot of the pin.
The moral of that story (and there always is one) is don't always choose the easy shot in life....it is more fun to challenge yourself! You may even end up in a much better position then you ever thought possible.
I look forward to golfing with you! See you soon,
Diane.
This past Tuesday was my first "real" round of the season. The weather was great, and of course the company was even better. It was great to see so many women out!
A quick reminder to sign up for League play and the Birdies/Eagles/Putts. The committee needs to put the teams together by a random pick on May 15th. So get your name in - we don't want to miss anyone.
I also signed up to play in the club's Opening Sunday Round on May 5th. Another great weather day. I had the pleasure of golfing with Nora Spence and Hannah Masters. One of the things I enjoy most when playing in tournaments is meeting new people. We had a great time and some challenging fun shots. I think our team ended up with an 85, far off the lead, but we came in first in the enjoyment category! As we were playing a scramble format, one of our shots landed (lodged) in the left bunker on 5. Our other two balls were back a ways, in the middle of the fairway We all looked at each other and decided on the spot to live on the "wild side" and take the challenging shot. Our Nora hit it out beautifully and the ball landed within a foot of the pin.
The moral of that story (and there always is one) is don't always choose the easy shot in life....it is more fun to challenge yourself! You may even end up in a much better position then you ever thought possible.
I look forward to golfing with you! See you soon,
Diane.
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